The holidays are the happiest time of the year. For those of us who have loved and lost someone dear to us, they can also be a reminder of voices we no longer hear at the table, of a special laugh, and a knowing glance that says you are loved.

This is the last photograph of my mom and me, taken four years ago this Christmas. She was my best friend, safe place, and mother. She gave her joy away, freely, and to anyone she met. She moved to her permanent residence in heaven on Friday, January 4th, 2019, after a short illness.

I miss her.

Christmas was her favorite holiday. She loved twinkling lights, Christmas trees, and presents. She and my dad won the decorating contest in Warren several times and had their home on the holiday tour for a few years. From the candy cane lane out front to Santa and a reindeer sleigh on the front porch roof, my parents made it look like the North Pole. They decorated for hours to make it special for everyone who drove by or visited.

It’s interesting because I don’t even feel much like putting up a Christmas tree this year.

My dad did, though, and I’m glad he and Charlene decorated. It was wonderful to see the tree in the foyer again. Mom would be so happy they continue this tradition. It still feels like home. And, even though she’s not here anymore, her spirit is very much alive.

Four years later and I can visit now without crying, at least not while I’m there. That may be hopeful news for some of you.

Mom knew she wouldn’t live forever, at least not here on this Earth. Looking back, I think she knew the year before she died, in some ways, that time was short. She was only 72 years old, though. Too young.

But she gave it all throughout her life, and I carry that with me too. She personified grace, strength, perseverance, faith, commitment, and enduring love. She lived with integrity, walked confidently, and overcame her share of setbacks and obstacles. She was a lifelong learner and a champion-level encourager. I miss everything about her. I miss her.

Joy will return, but it’s good to take a moment and acknowledge the gifts we are given by those who have gone on before us. For me, that’s my Papa’s kind eyes and my mother’s joy.

Love never ends. It just changes. New life happens every day. We have the chance to give the love we experienced away and keep it going.

If you would like to name someone you miss this holiday season in the comments below, you’re welcome to share their name and story.

It’s time to make new memories and to live, but it’s also good to remember the foundation we stand on and all we bring to the celebration.

I’m thankful for my mother and how much joy she brought to the world. She added the pixie dust, and for that and so much more, I’ll always be grateful.

1 Corinthians 16:14 — Let all that you do be done in love.