Leaving Room for Magic
A few weeks ago, I wrote that I would be leaving the lake house. As the wind has been so brisk, deeming half the house unlivable, I’m ready for the move. However, amidst the blizzard conditions, my realtor and I did final negotiations on the home I was buying, and as it turns out, what I had planned didn’t land.
I’m writing this for a couple of reasons. One is that if you know of a home that will be going on the market, let me know. I’ll likely find a place downtown to rent for the next year and wait for something more right. My lease ends here in March.
I’m also writing because, during a holiday season filled with expectations, things don’t always turn out the way you planned, and that’s okay. It may even be better. It’s important to leave room for magic.
I learned quite a lot through this home-buying process. I counted the cost carefully, discerning whether or not this was right for me. I did my due diligence. It cost me a few thousand dollars and my time, but I wasn’t going in blind. My eyes were wide open. I have taken the leap before and had a few regrets. Not this time; I knew what I could get into and had a super solid team around me. My realtor has worked incredibly hard, as have several contractors. In the end, I chose a different path.
Author Anne Lamott says that beginning a new writing project in December isn’t generally a great idea. That can be true of other major decisions as well.
We can push through, but it’s extra hard. December, for example, is when my vivacious mom became suddenly ill and left us a few weeks later. It’s been four years already. She loved Christmas and her family more than life, and it showed. It’s lonely without her here, and I miss her most when trying to decide or discern something big. I miss her always.
My Dad stepped up and was the last person I talked to before I gave my final number for the house. Many undisclosed repairs had been unearthed. P.S. Always pay for the inspection.
It’s working out. There won’t be a Miracle on 34th Street for me, but I’m glad I took a shot, even during a month when it’s tough to do so.
I still believe in taking risks and dreaming big dreams. Wisdom has spoken, though; it has taught me to count the costs and know before I go. I just completed a build-out at Creative Company. I know what it takes and could have done it. I wasn’t afraid of the work involved but rather the time.
I have a quote on my refrigerator that says, “Where God guides, he provides.” I felt like it was right for me to pursue this house, but in the end, I also believed that while God would be with me whatever I chose, it likely wouldn’t allow me to do what I most long to do, which is to write. I played the movie, and while I could see a lot of checks being written and contractors coming in and out the door, I didn’t see much time for writing amidst all of the work the old house needed. It had charm and potential. It also had vermiculite in the attic and knob and tube wiring, plus a host of other challenges. It looked like a dollhouse on a hill, and I loved the yard, but that needed work too. When I realized the foundation could be settling and would need to be fixed in part of the house, I thought, this is not what I signed up for.
So, on to the next adventure, where ever that may take me. I’m uncomfortable with uncertainty, but I’ve already got a lead on a great condo in downtown Madison. It will work out.
It helps that I’m clear about my goals which is the question always to ask before we move forward. What’s the goal? How will this solution detract from or move me closer to the plan?
I knew what I wanted at the end of the day. While this home had so much of what I longed for, it would take too much time to bring it back to life. When we move confidently in the direction of our dreams, it becomes easier to see what aligns and does not. I wish the sellers had been more forthcoming. They knew. But still, I received a very valuable education and became clearer about my goals. It was worth it.
Here’s to new beginnings and leaving room for miracles and magic.
